“Grief Is Just the Other Side of Love” — Simona on Losing Her Son Saul, Healing, and Breaking Generational Silence
Simona shares the story of her son, Saul, born still at 19 weeks, and the deep unraveling that followed. From the early days of IVF and endometriosis to the heartbreak of stillbirth and the silence that came after, she invites us into the complexity of love, loss, and lineage.
We talk about:
Navigating endometriosis and IVF before pregnancy
The day she learned Saul’s heart had stopped
Grieving far from family and finding support online
Discovering her mother’s own unspoken stillbirth
Breaking generational silence around grief
The power of embodiment, yoga, and breathwork in healing
Learning to mother herself and honor her inner landscape
The compassion she found — and the care she wished she’d received
The friendships that deepened and those that fell away
What it means to hold hope for her future rainbow baby
This episode is a tender, powerful reminder that grief and beauty can coexist — and that love, even in loss, continues to grow.
Saul, this one is for you.
Get to Know Simona:
Simona lives in Berlin, Germany with her husband. Originally from Romania, she works as a user experience designer and is deeply devoted to her healing journey — attending an online Sangha (meditation community) and being an active member of the Healthy Grieving group for nearly two years.
When she isn’t tending to her adult responsibilities, you’ll find her wandering the streets of Berlin, practicing yoga, exploring somatics, or rating ramen restaurants and ice-cream shops across the city. She proudly holds a 2,758-day (and counting!) Duolingo streak in German and Portuguese — and humbly admits that English is not her first language.
Losing her baby boy, Saul, in the summer of 2023 opened a portal into the world of grief. Her path since has been tender and transformative, as she continues to hold hope for her rainbow baby. Through this experience, she’s learned not to hide her inner landscape, to honor her loss out loud, and to be steadfast in calling herself a mother — even when the world doesn’t always recognize it.
Simona is slowly becoming a student and advocate of grief, devoted to practicing this sacred, embodied way of healing.
Instagram: @simona.cilliers
