“I Needed to Be a Mother” — Laurel Schaffman on NICU Loss, Fetal Growth Restriction, and Pregnancy After Loss
In this tender episode of The Rainbow Connection, Laurel Schaffman shares the heartbreaking and beautiful story of her son Miles, born at 24 weeks after severe fetal growth restriction and complications that led to his passing just two days later. Laurel speaks honestly about their NICU time, navigating grief, and the overwhelming return home to a quiet nursery. She also invites us into the truth of pregnancy after loss, the fear that surfaced when she conceived again, and the careful, monitored journey that brought her rainbow baby Theo safely into her arms. Through her story, Laurel reflects on motherhood after loss, honoring Miles, and learning to live in the present with her son on earth.
We talk about:
The whirlwind beginning of her first pregnancy and the first signs of concern.
Receiving devastating news at 24 weeks and the decision to deliver early.
The two precious days Laurel and Josh spent with Miles in the NICU.
The disorienting early grief, funeral arrangements, and advocating for her son even after his passing.
The longing to try again and the emotional complexity of pregnancy after loss.
Navigating fear, frequent monitoring, and finding the right support team.
Setting boundaries during PAL and choosing who to tell — and how.
The redemptive, carefully planned C-section that brought Theo safely into the world.
How motherhood after loss reshapes everything: language, presence, gratitude, and identity.
Honoring Miles while raising Theo, and learning to mother both her boys in different ways.
This episode is a tender, powerful reminder that grief and beauty can coexist — and that birth, even in loss, can absolutely be sacred.
Get to Know LAUREL:
Laurel Schaffman is an elementary school teacher and mother from West Hartford, Connecticut. She is the mom of two beautiful boys — her angel baby, Miles, and her rainbow baby, Theo. Typically a private person, Laurel found that walking through pregnancy loss, NICU loss, and pregnancy after loss opened her heart in new ways. She now shares her story so other women walking this path know they are not alone, and so Miles’ life continues to be honored through the ways she mothers.
Instagram: @lshaff13
