“I Didn’t Know Life Could Change This Fast” — Alana Fear on Stillbirth, Grief, and Pregnancy After Loss
In this episode of The Rainbow Connection, Alana Fear shares the story of her son, Warren, and the shock of experiencing stillbirth after a healthy pregnancy. She reflects on how quickly life can change, the grief that follows when the future you imagined disappears, and how loss reshapes your relationship with hope. Alana also opens up about her pregnancy after loss, navigating fear, cautious optimism, and the reality of carrying new life while continuing to grieve the child who should be here.
We talk about:
Experiencing stillbirth after a healthy pregnancy
The loss of innocence that comes with pregnancy loss
Navigating grief when life felt “perfect” before loss
Pregnancy after loss and holding hope carefully
Living as a mother to both the son she lost and the daughter who came after
How loss reshapes trust in your body and the future
Finding grounding in simple, ordinary moments after grief
This episode is a powerful reminder that grief and beauty can coexist — and that love does not end when a baby dies.
Get to Know Alana:
Alana Fear lives in Etobicoke, Ontario with her husband, Matt, and their dog, Walter. She is a mother to her son, Warren, whom she lives to remember, and is currently pregnant with her daughter, due this November. Alana finds meaning in the simple things — a warm cup of tea, time in nature, music that meets her in the moment — and finds comfort through journaling, creativity, and storytelling.
Instagram: @fearalana
PAIL Network: pailnetwork.sunnybrook.ca/
