“This Is What I Could Do for Her” – Birth, Loss, and Love as a Mother and Midwife
Ashley shares the sacred and heart-shattering story of her daughter Marigold, born after a fatal diagnosis. In this deeply moving episode, Ashley walks us through the months of preparing to say goodbye, the home birth she fought for, and the moments of peace, presence, and pain that came after. She also shares the path to her rainbow pregnancy and the emotional birth of her son, Wesley, born just over a year later.
We talk about:
Receiving a life-limiting diagnosis halfway through pregnancy
Choosing comfort care and preparing for her daughter’s death
Planning a home birth for a baby who wouldn’t stay
The sacred 43 minutes she spent holding Marigold
The moment her two daughters met—just before Goldie passed
Navigating postpartum grief, rage, and the aching silence that followed
Becoming pregnant again just 4.5 months later
The emotional and physical intensity of birthing after loss
The healing, heartbreak, and transformation that comes with mothering all her children
This episode is a tender, powerful reminder that grief and beauty can coexist— and that birth, even in loss, can absolutely be sacred.
Goldie, this one is for you.
Get to Know Ashley:
Ashley Thorup is a mom to three children, Luca June, Marigold, and Wesley, a wife to Michael, and a home birth midwife from Fayetteville, Arkansas. When she isn’t with her loved ones or attending births, she enjoys being outdoors, reading, writing, gardening, and eating really dark chocolate.
Connect with Ashley:
Instagram: @ashley.thorup
Website: marigoldmidwifery.com
